November = Barlow-fest again

November was a relatively quiet month. Just the one bath (bleurgh) and one (DIY) haircut - DIY by Mummy, not by me ... I'm clever, but not that clever !

AS's friend Sharon came to stay with us (them) for a few days - she was lovely. Loud. But lovely.
I also got to see Beth, Caroline and Mummy Helen again, but only for a really short time, because as they arrived to stay with us (AS & UD), Mummy took me to Wales to stay with Nannie Chris (Mummy's Mummy). That was a lovely trip. Nannie Chris spoilt me rotten. She misses Rusty & Samson, so she gave me lots of fuss and cuddles !  I really enjoyed the car journey there and back. I used to be really bad at travelling, with really bad car sickness (see previous blog ) but I'm so much better now. I just lie down and have a bit of a kip ! It makes the journey so much nicer than barfing up all the time !

Our house is just a ruddy Barlow/TakeThat-fest again at the moment. Mummy has had Progress tour DVDs and CDs delivered, and is all "listen to this Jack", "watch this Jack". Plus Gary Barlow is on the telly-box every ruddy weekend on X-Factor, so I get to suffer watching that too, with Mummy swooning all over him. Pah, Barlow. Pah, Take That.  Although, even I have to admit that, very much like my good self, the bloke is definitely improving with age.
Plus Mummy nipped up to London to see Gary live on Loose Women. Seriously, you'd have thought that she was going to bring him home with her, she was sooooo excited. Actually, come to think of it... I think that is EXACTLY what she wanted !  Ha !  He wouldn't survive 2 minutes in this house............not because of me you understand. Because Mummy wouldn't be able to control herself . Parents can be so embarassing sometimes.

... October

October

The rest of September shot past, with lots of lovely cuddles and fuss with Daddy, plus loads more meaty feasts !  But then it happened again.... the dreaded suitcase......  Next thing I know, Daddy's saying goodbye again, and Mummy  & I waved him off. See you next May Daddy *sad puppy face*.

I was in the kitchen the other day and I dropped my chewy bone on the floor, and it rolled right under my food bowl so I couldn't reach it. I howled ........ (I was hungry). Mummy came rushing into the kitchen with a really concerned look on her face, as well she might.... I was hungry !  When she realised that I was crying for my chewy she burst out laughing and called me a Muppet !  But at least she was able to rescue my chewy .. nom nom nom.
I had another amazing treat from AS & UD - a beef bone !  It was awwwwweeesome !  Mummy let me have the bone in the garden in the morning, and she didn't see me again for about 5 hours ! I had a great time, and chewed the beefy treat to bits !  Mummy said my normally lovely breath (*cough) was all beefy. Which I took as a good thing. ..................
Mid October, and Mummy took me out for a couple of hours while she was having some work done on our new car. When we were about to into the reception of the garage place, I got a bit too close to the door thinking it was going to open inwards. But it didn't, it opened outwards, and I got my foot trapped under the door ! ! Ouch ouch ouch.  It really hurt. Mummy was all apologetic and  made a big fuss of me, but it was soooooo painful that I couldn't put my foot to the floor for ages. Mummy was all "oh no, I hope it isn't broken". But luckily, after a short while (and because I'm so big, butch and brave) I was able to limp back to the car and then we went home. Mummy gave me one of my dried sausages as a treat for being brave !  (Not to self: crying and limping gets you treats).

... September

September
September 1st was my 12th birthday !  Happy Whelpday to me. Well, it is my 'official' birthday, as we're not quite sure when my 'actual' birthday is. But, hey I'm 12 !!  whoop whoop
Mid Septemer, and Mummy & Daddy packed their bags ... again. I really hate it when I see those suitcases appear. It usually means that someone disappears for ages, normally Daddy but sometimes both of them.  I know I get to go on my holidays too, which I love, but it's always nice to be home with 'the parents'.
But wait just a cotton-pickin' minute........... Mummy and Daddy have driven off, and I'm still here with AS & UD !  This is a result !  If the contents (and weight) of the suitcases are to be believed, I reckon I've got a good 7 days or more at the spa next door. Get in !!!

..... believe me, the following 8 days were awesome !  Food, drink, fuss.... never ending with AS & UD.  I pulled my weight though, and patrolled the boundaries at regular intervals. The shed and garden fence are well 'watered', and I think the postman is well and truly aware that I'm here !

The only downside was that  AS & UD took me to the hairdressers... pah.    Don't get me wrong, I would MUCH rather go to the hairdresser than have a bath at home (yuk).  The hairdressers are lovely and treat me really well. It's just that I smell like a girl when they're done with me ! My hair (what's left of it) is all blow-dried like a ball of fluff, and I give off an odour of a mixture of baby powder and roses. It does nothing for my tough-dog image. Nothing !!!

Although I did get to go for a spin in their car which was lovely. I sat on AS's lap there and back which is comfy for me and I get to see out of the windows. AS said she wasn't too impressed with the paw imprints I left in her legs, but I know she's just happy to have a cuddle with me whenever/wherever ! 
The day afterwards and the reason for the haircut became clear. Mummy  & Daddy came home, yeah !!
They said they'd been to see Aunty Anna, Uncle Simon & Maisie in Qatar where they now live, and had had a wonderful time.  Yeah, whatever guys. I see there was no duty-free sausages brought back for me!  When AS & UD came back last time they had sausages with them. You can't pick your parents ..........


Only joking !  I have been with Mummy & Daddy for 6 years now, and I love them loads (most of the time)

August to December - wrapping up the year

I realise I've been a bit slack in blogging for you lovely people (sorry Uncle Dave !), so let me see if I can round up the last few months before we get into 2012 and I lose myself completely to the Olympic Games, Queenie's 85th birthday and the new arrival for Kate & Wills (I'm guessing on that last one).

I'm going to start off by saying Goodbye to Samson, my cousin.  He lost his long battle with ill health in early October and will be sorely missed by everyone who knew him throughout his 14 years.  RIP Sam x

August ........

Daddy was home for the last half of August, which was fantastic ! And AS & UD arrived home too - also fantastic !  With Daddy home, I got to eat loads and loads of really rich, meaty meals because Daddy has no concept of cooking "low fat" meals so everyday is a new delight !
Mummy and Daddy left me for the weekend, so I nipped round to "My house, take 2" (ie, AS & UD's ) and had a bit of a pampered weekend. It really is like being at a spa round there !  Loads of belly rubs and fusses, not many rules, and hot and cocktail sausages on a constant feed.  And relax !

My week

Friday was very exciting. Mummy told me I was going on my holidays !  Whooo hooo.
I jumped into the car and off we went.  When we got to my hotel (Latchett's kennels) I ran off to my room straight away, leaving Mummy by the car.  She shouted "Bye bye Jack, see you on Sunday".  But I didn't even look back..... too excited to see what room I was in, and what my neighbours were like. Most are pretty noisy, which is fun, because then we can have a really good 'bark off'.
A couple of days later, and Ian (one of the hotel staff) came to get me saying "Mummy's here". But when I got to reception, it wasn't just Mummy. Daddy was there too !  Yeah ..... Daddy's home !!
I sat on Daddy's lap all the way home and had a lovely cuddle. When we got home Mummy gave me some tea, and I had a little nap. I really really wanted to keep talking to Daddy, but I was just sooooo tired. Need a nice little sleep, and then I'll be ok. 
I woke up sometime during the evening, and I seemed to be on my own. Mummy & Daddy had gone out ! Nice, thanks guys. Anyway, back to sleep.....
Next time I woke up it was the key in the front door. I was feeling much more awake, so I gave Mummy & Daddy a really good welecome home !  Daddy fed me a little bit of chocolate biscuit .... lovely to have him home !
Whilst I was in the hotel, I dreamt of being on 'vacation' again, this time in  .Rhode Island  .
Monday however saw Daddy packing that damn case again! Mummy reckons he's away til the weekend this time, so its just me and Mummy .... again.
Mummy whispered to me that Fri/Sat this week will be amazing. Daddy gets home ... this time for weeks. Anna, Simon & Maisie are visiting for lunch. And then .. AS & UD will be home ........ !!!  I really hope the rest of this week goes past really really really quickly !

On my travels

So, I'm still sulking that AS & UD are away.  It is sooooooooooo dull being at home with just Mummy.  She doesn't go to the fridge half as much as AS does, and is always going on about my 'big belly'.  Oh Mum, shut up about my belly!  I just need sausages. I'm a dog, its what I do.

I've been sooo bored, I decided to jet off to Boston in the good ole US of A and see some of the sights.
You can catch some of my holiday snaps here : Boston travels
Hope you like them !

Right, back off to see if I can look cute and/or pitiful, and persuade Mummy to open that ruddy fridge door....

I hate suitcases

My stitches were healing nicely and I was starting to feel much more lively (well, as lively as I get these days).

Then... this disgusting striped cat dared to enter my garden.   I belted out from the house and chased the little monster right up over the 6ft garden fence.  Well, the cat went up and over the fence. I was running so hard that I couldn't stop myself and ended up jumping a few inches off the ground, scrabbling up the fence.  I felt one of my stitches pop, but that didn't stop me!  I got rid of the cat !  Next thing, Mummy looks at my belly and she was not happy. Whoops.  She gave me a right old telling off, and told me I'd have to go to the Dog Dr again to check the stitch. So, off we go....... which is fine, because I got a ride in the car, and I like the Dog Dr.
When we got to the Dog Dr, he took one look at my stitches, and whipped them both out there and then !  Nice one Dr !  That felt sooooo much better.  And how good am I that I heal so quickly. Yeah me.  I  must admit I was so chuffed to have the stitches out, that I got a little over-excited and gave Dog Dr another glimpse of my 'little lipstick' (as Mummy so elegantly puts it).  I'm getting older you know.. I don't have the same level of control over these things as I used to.....

Just as I thought things could settle down again... AS & UD started to pack clothes into suitcases. I hate suitcases, because I know what it means when they come out of the wardrobe.  Somebody is leaving me..... normally its Daddy, but this time its AS &UD.  Mummy made me wave them off on Friday, but I made sure they got a good look at my most miserable 'hang-dog' expression before they left.  If they're leaving me for a few days, I'm not going look happy about it.... they need to know how upset I am.......  Mummy said they were off for the wedding of the lovely John & Julie.... well, I only hope John & Julie know how miserable I am. (But do hope they have a lovely day on the  13th)

Mummy tried to cheer me up by giving me a new pink teddy with a squeaky in it.!!  I'm sorry to say that it did work..... for a little while. But once I'd killed the squeaky, and ripped the teddy's belly open...... I was a bit out of puff and needed a break.. Then I remembered that I couldn't tell AS & UD about it..... *insert sad face again.
All this talk of travels makes me think that I should explore a bit more. Hmmmmm, where would I go ... ?

All shaved..... again

Well Mummy took me to the Dog Dr again on Monday this week.  I was really happy to go, because I always get treated really well there. And whatever happens, normally means I get extra fuss at AS & UD's later too.
Normally I arrive and get treated straight away  - preferential treatment for being so damn cute I say!
This time however, they seemed to be busier, and I seemed to spend a very long time waiting around. Eventually a lovely nurse came to get me for my 'treatment'.  Still not entirely sure what that means.
Before I knew it, they were only shaving my left arm..... why the left arm ? The fluff on my right arm is still patchy from the last time I was here.... Anyway, next the horrible bit that makes me wince... the needle.  And then.... zzzzzzzzzzz
I woke up later and my belly didn't half hurt.  What have they done ?  Well, for a start...... they shaved all my belly-fluff off .....again!  Everytime I start to grow some decent belly-fluff... off to the Dog Dr, and off comes the fluff.
I was feeling really sleepy and my head was spinning a bit, so I had another little sleep until the nurse woke me to say Mummy was here to take me home.  Yippeeee.  I was out of there quicker than you could say "sausages".   Mummy made a huge fuss of me (I should ruddy think so, she made me go) and I had a lovely supper of chicken and boiled rice.  Was still feeling woozy, but managed to make it round to AS & UD's for a bit more sympathy !  The sausage treats were a bit thin on the ground, but my belly wasn't feeling great, so I reckon I can wait ....
I have 2 puncture holes in my belly which have horrible stitches in them, and they were really sore all night.  I barely slept - I only had 9 hours.  Taking Mummy for a walk in the morning was a pretty slow affair.  I was walking very slowly. Even cocking my leg for a pee was painful.  Stupid belly.  I managed to catch a bit more sleep through the day though, especially when Mummy went to work.
AS opened the back door early evening (caught me by surprise a bit there AS !!), and I was feeling so much better by then, that I was able to give her a bit of fuss, then high-tail it to UD.... fully expecting to be greeted with sympathy sausages.  Yeah, it worked.  Sausages ........  I should think so, after what I've been through. Mummy came home later. I said "Hi", but decided to stay at AS & UD's for bit longer.. (more sausages).
Today I'm feeling better again, although my belly is still sore and swollen.  Mummy has posted a couple of pictures on my Twitter (@JackMuppetDog) and Flickr accounts - thanks a lot Mum !

Haircuts and trauma

So over the last couple of weeks I have had visits from Mummy and Daddy F, and Mummy Helen. They came to AS & UD's house, but I know that I'm the main attraction !
Mummy F is always a soft touch, but this time Daddy F was too, which was fab. I've finally worn him down to realising that I'm not just any dog...... !
Mummy Helen is a soft touch too, so there's always double sausage treats when she comes to visit... long may that continue.

I had my hair done recently at a lovely hairdresser place. They were very friendly and spoilt me rotten. Plus the cut and blow dry was brilliant. I looked like a gorgeous, soft ball of fluff and smelt like a bouquet of roses. I know that may not be what every tough, dog-about-town wants to look and smell like, but for me it is the best thing, because it makes Mummy and AS go "aaaaaahhhhhhhh" and feed me lots of treats. This haircut was even better and made UD react the same way. Result ! I'll be going back there again.

Mummy has told me that I have to visit the Dog Doctor again soon. My liver is playing up (apparently) and so is my poorly arthritic leg (I ruddy know about that).
So I have to have a liver biopsy (I have no idea what that is, but it doesn't sound like a barrel of laughs) and I have to have yet another arthritis injection.
So long as this biopsy-thing doesn't involve any needles, I'll allow them to jab me with the arthritis thing, as I already know that it helps me to go for longer walks.

Last night Mummy and UD went out for a beer (!) and AS stayed home, poorly. I was going to nurse her, take care of her and cheer her up with cuddles and kisses.... but I forgot. Instead, I ended up being the casualty and AS looked after me! I was on a routine-patrol round the boundaries, as I could hear some cars outside which required my full investigation to ensure everything was safe and secure. I did a couple of laps around the AS & UD's garden shed, which is the best way of securing the garden and keeping undesirables out, then I decided that I should check the front door too. Without a moment's hesitation or thought for my own safety (thinking only of making sure AS was safe in the house) I belted towards the lounge to dart athletically through the patio door. Bam! Bash! Wallop! Crash! WTF ?
The ruddy doors were shut ! I'd run straight into the closed door! I swear I saw stars and tiny cartoon birds flying round my head. Blimey that hurt.
AS rushed over to me and checked me over very carefully to make sure I was ok (I wasn't) and to see if I was bleeding (I wasn't). No paracetamol though...... (poorly head AS ......)
Anyway, I managed to persuade her that if I ate a couple of sausages I wouldn't throw up, which made me feel a bit better, but not much. My head was pounding, and to be honest I was feeling more than a little embarrassed. Its not really the most macho thing to do is it ? Run headfirst into a closed door. So partly to ease my pain, and partly to ease my shame, I spent the rest of the evening camped by AS's front door and didn't move til Mummy and UD came home.
AS told Mummy about my traumatic accident. And Mummy laughed.... nice !
But they'd brought Yo-Yo burgers home with them so I managed to wangle a bit of chicken burger, a bit of Angus beef burger and a bit of Wagu burger !! Not a bad way to end the evening. I must admit that I was ready for my bed at that point, and slept the headache off nicely. Still feeling a bit off-kilter today, but I think I may be able to manage some sausages......... Yoo-hoo, AS.... UD...are you up ?

Take That mania

Mummy's gone crazy. I know it was only a matter of time, but she really is mad.
Some bunch of blokes called Take That who sing a bit, are 'on tour' whatever that means, and Mummy had a ticket to see them. She jumped up and down a lot, and 'whoop whooped'. When she said that she was going to Cardiff to see them, I thought she'd take me along to revisit my hometown. But no. Apparently I wouldn't enjoy Cardiff on Take That show night. Really? Selfish.
So, AS & UD were drafted in to look after me for the day while Mummy sloped off, whooping and bouncing about like Tigger on acid.
She's got the 'hots' (shudder) for Gary, and says that his designer stubble and racing-snake-like physique makes him look better than ever before. If you ask me, the guy could stand to eat a few cocktail sausages, and his 'designer stubble' looks like the bum-fluff that's growing back on my belly since my last operation. Now that's a 'look'!
So having put up with "Progressed" in the cd player every day, I was expecting her to get back from the gig, having bounced it all out of her system. But no! Instead, what does she do ? She only goes and gets more ruddy tickets !! This time for Wembley! Seriously, the woman's gone mad.
AND.............get this !!!!!!! She only goes and ropes AS into the ruddy thing too. So now, not only am I getting Take That cds and dvds playing on a loop several times every day at home, whenever I escape to the 'relative' normality of next door, AS is blasting the cd in the kitchen or playing the Circus tour dvd in the lounge. There really is NO escape from these guys. I know all the words to the latest cd, and these days when I dream, I'm rowing one of those boats during "The Flood", or stomping round in riot gear to "Kidz" or becoming a mutant whilst belting out "Love Love" . Daddy come back and save me from this crazy.

So, off they go, Mummy and AS, to Wembley, Mummy wearing a hugely age-inappropriate TT t-shirt (in my opinion). I stayed home with UD and waved them off with them literally shaking from excitment, and UD and I settled down to a (now very rare) Take That-free day. We watched a bit of telly and had a snooze, then had some food and a snooze. Then I took UD for a walk, and we came back and had a little snooze. Next thing Mummy & AS get home, STILL bouncing like fools and singing Love Love. Mummy was besides herself with excitement as expected and babbled on and on about the concert, how wonderful it (Gary) was, how well they (Gary) sang, how great they (he) looked, etc etc etc. Seriously Mummy, STOP. But the biggest surprise was AS! She seemed to have really really enjoyed the whole thing, and (to my and UD's dismay) may just have become a Take That fan! Dog help us! Now there really is no escape.
And just when you think its all over, Mummy Gwynneth & Daddy Malcolm come to stay, and Mummy decides that they can get MORE tickets to the last show of the tour!
AS was totally on board with this crazy decision. But luckily, when it came to actually getting the tickets, Mummy and AS decided that they needed to be satisfied with 1 (or Mummy's case 2) Progress Live experience, and they didn't buy the tickets.
Unfortunately, to compensate for 'missing out' on the last night of the UK tour, Mummy is now playing the cds and dvds on an ever-increasing loop. Every ruddy day, Take That. I'd like to shut Gary Barlow up with a cocktail sausage in his 'bumfluff' covered mouth ! Give me a bit of peace to have a proper (Take That free) snooze ! Then again, the songs are growing on me, and I wouldn't really want to waste a good snorker. So, I think I'll just let Mummy carry on with her Take That fetish, and I'll just need to have a little Patience.............

OK! I'm back by popular demand....

Well AS & UD's demand which is good enough for me. Just like Take That I'm going to wow my adoring fans with a spectacular comeback...... Actually, I'm really just going to fill you in with the last few weeks of sausage-snorting, boundary-patrolling and dog-naps, but I thought I'd try to 'big it up' a bit (man I'm so street).

Well lets go back to Easter time, which is when Mummy fills the house with chocolate eggs, and for some strange reason thinks that I'll eat a Dogggy-Choccy-egg - not a ruddy chance by the way! Chocolate without cocoa, milk and sugar is NOT chocolate !
Anyway, Easter time. Daddy disappeared again and Mummy decided that she was going to stop buying, cooking, eating or sharing (with me) anything even remotely nice to eat. She says she's 'on a diet', but I think she's just being selfish. All of a sudden there's no scraps of 'spare' meat, there's no choccy biscuits, there's no ruddy anythig, but DOG FOOD! What's all that about ? Madness.
So, in my usual supportive fashion, I decided to de-camp to AS & UD's instead...... they're only blinking on the diet too! Come on people, a dog cannot live on dog food alone ! (to paraphrase someone who said something similar sometime).
Aaah, but unlike Mummy, AS & UD apprecaite that dog food is not a balanced dog-diet, and have maintained a decent stash of cocktail sausages just for me.
Well, they are just for me most of the time, except when Mummy Helen comes to stay. then I have to share them, grrrrr).

So, with all this dieting-mullarkey going on, I've lost a bit of weight too. Not that I needed it. I think I was looking pretty damn cute before. But apparantly, Mummy likes my weight loss, because now she can pick me up more easily for one of those soppy cuddles she likes so much. (note to self.... eat more food)

2011..... the highs and lows ... so far

Well, 2011 has been a rollercoaster of a year so far...... and we're only a 3rd of the way through.
How can I sum up all that has happened so far ....??? I'll start with a 'high'.....

Way back in January, my Aunty Dawnie came for a short visit. AD is lovely and scratches my bum for me..... I love that. I repay such kindness with lots of sloppy kisses !
Next a 'low'. Mike passed away (see previous blog). Mummy was very very sad for days. I tried to cheer her up with kisses and cuddles, and I think it worked. I got to have a few 'sleep-overs' with AS & UD while Mummy helped Nannie Christine to sort some things out.
Then I started to hear rumblings of Daddy coming home...... What ? Really ?? Yippeeeee ! I haven't seen Daddy for ages and ages. Sometimes Mummy talks about him, and sits me in front of the laptop and tells me to talk to someone called "Skype"... I've got no idea what she's on about though, but I sit and look at the screen for a while to show willing. Now and again I think that I can almost hear Daddy's voice, far far away, very faintly... but he never comes through the door, so I normally head back to AS & UD's for a 'sympathy sausage'.

Then one day in early March (I know it was early March because the daffodils had starting springing up round my patrol area near the duck pond, and I watered them twice a day) Daddy walked through the door !
I was very very happy to see him and I thought my tail would fall off, I shook it that much ! I jumped all over him, sat on his lap for cuddles (wouldn't let Mummy anywhere near him... he's MY Daddy), gave him great big sloppy kisses, and wagged and wagged and wagged........then I went to AS & UD's for a 'celebratory sausage'.

Daddy didn't seem to be home for long, before he disappeared again. Mummy explained that he had to go to Wales to see him Mummy as she was poorly. After a couple of days, Mummy went to join him, and I had another sleep-over with AS &UD.
When they came home, Daddy was very sad and cried a lot. Mummy told me that my Nannie Meriel had passed away. I had stayed at Nannie M's house a few times when I first lived with Mummy & Daddy. Nannie M was a lovely lady, and was a total sucker for my very best 'meerkaat' (sit up and beg) impression ! She fed my loads of things, including a full Sunday dinner once ! I hadn't seen her for a long time, but I remember her fondly.
Poor Daddy. I tried to give him some extra 'loves'to show him how sorry I was for him. But he seemed very sad and far away for days, so I gave him some space and went to AS & UD's for some 'reflective/respectful sausages'.

Daddy has some extra time at home, and has been working in the garden while Mummy goes to work. I've helped as much as possible.... standing right behind him when he's painting the fence, watering the plants (and any paint brushes etc that he puts on the floor for more than 5 minutes). I've patrolled the 'boundaries' with more purpose... to show Daddy that I've got things under control while he's away.
My sentry duty, up and down the garden wall has been exemplary, and my circuits round the garden shed have ensured that no intruders have made it into the garden!
Daddy can be sure that Mummy, AS, and UD are all safe..... and so is my sausage stash ! Well, we all have our own priorities.

The weather is glorious today, so I'm sitting in the garden again, while Daddy paints the garden fence. He has made rumblings about giving me a bath, but I can only hope that he's far too busy and forgets all about it. I certainly won't be reminding him.
Right, enough of this blogging mularkey....time to check the boundaries again.

Just want to take a moment .....

I am way behind on the updates, but before I get into all that, I just want to take a moment to pay my respects to Mike Clarke.

You may remember Mike from Chapter 1 of my autobidography. He was the son of my first owners, and he was the person who put me and Mummy and Daddy together over 5 years ago.

Mike used to visit me (and his parents !) in Cardiff and when he visited he always made a huge fuss of me (yay) and gave me treats (yay). He would take me out for walks in the park (yay) and would give me a bath to clean me up (boo).
Mike was a lovely lovely man, and I loved seeing him. When he took me to meet Daddy for the first time, I cried and cried when Mike drove away without me. When Mummy and Daddy took me to Wales, we visited Mike and then it was my turn to make a massive fuss of him ! I jumped on his lap and covered him in kisses, and made sure to let him know that I'd missed him.

Mike was a truly lovely person, and always put others before himself, including animals ! I will miss him, and so will Mummy and Daddy, and many many others.

Bye bye 2010....

Well December 2010 disappeared quickly.
One minute everything was quiet and routine, next thing Mummy is being scraped up off the floor after a 'work's do' (nice work by the way, AS & UD). Then one night, I nip next door and nothing..... light's off, no one home. grrrrrrrrrr, hate it when that happens.
Went home, sulked on the settee. Next day, Mummy fills the car up with all sorts of shiny bags, and boxes all packed in shiny paper with bows on them. Then she says to me "Want to go on holiday?". Do I ever! Awesome. So off we go to the doggy hotel (Mummy says kennels, yeah whatever!). Mummy was in the office talking to the bosslady, but the blokey Ian put a collar on me, so off I went. I think I forgot to say Goodbye to Mummy ! Whoops.
Anyway, I had a lovely spa break for 4 days, then Mum ruined it and came to fetch me. Something about it costing a small fortune over Christmas.... but I'm worth it Mum. Dogs have Christmas too !
A day or so later, and whilst 'on guard' at the front window I saw AS & UD were home ! Yip yip yip. I was straight round there to say Welcome back. I stayed for a few hours, well its rude not to.

New Year's Eve 2010.
I was round with AS & UD all day, looking after them. AS had the sniffles, so I had to help UD take care of her. I find that the best treatment for all human ailments, is a ruddy good doggy kiss on the chops ! Works wonders, and never fails to make them smile.
Mummy joined us at teatime. But luckily she knew not to try to sit on the armchair... that's my seat ! AS & UD got the sofa, I got the armchair (naturally), so Mummy sat on the floor. Sounds about right to me.
The 3 of them chatted and ate and drank(well, Mummy & AS anyway). Now and again they made sufficient noise to stir me from my sleep, but I pretty much managed to sleep through the whole thing, including the ruddy fireworks. I don't mind the fireworks at all, its just that they wake me up, and that's not good.

UD gave up and went to bed, leaving them too and me (help UD, help). Mummy woke me up about 3am and said it was time for bed (honestly !) She then fell home, and I helped her to bed.
I started 2011 on a high note. Woke Mummy up at 8.30am, and took her for a brisk, bracing walk to clear the cobwebs. Don't think it really worked, as she had 2 paracetamol as soon as we got home !

I nipped to AS and UD's a bit later. AS seemed to be moving very slowly, if at all. UD was fine though, and I helped him put a lovely big lamb joint in the oven, and kept an eye on it for the rest of the day. AS and Mummy ate a little bit for tea, and me and UD ate plenty ! Girls are softies, boys are tough !

I was just settling down to 2011, when Mummy says "Vets". I was in the car like a shot ! I loooooooove the vets. I get loads of attention and people coo at me. "Aaaah, he's cute". "Aaah, he looks good for his age". That sort of thing !
Anyway, Mummy drops me off at the vets and off she goes.
They put a needle in my arm to help me sleep.... like I need any help to sleep !
When I woke up, I was a bit woozy, but felt ok. My right arm was stinging a bit and when I looked at it, they'd put a girly pink bandage on it! Grrrr
Plus my mouth was a bit sore too, just the left side. However, my teeth were sparkling and all squeaky clean. Nice one.
Mummy came to get me, and fussed over me like she hadn't seen me in months ! Women!
The vet lady told Mummy that I have 'advanced arthritis' and need oily fish, and some other drugs. Plus my mouth was sore because they'd removed a cyst off my lip, and given my teeth a scale and polish !
At home, I got to have some sardines as a treat, plus some yucky stuff in a syringe. Apparently the vet lady says I have to eat a 'chewable dog antibiotic' tablet for a few days. Not a chance lady. Chewable or not, I ain't eating it.
Mummy tried to hide it in a sausage, stupid idea. How sensitive do you think my nose is ? Hmmmm, well its very sensitive. Enough to know when I'm being conned into eating something I don't want to. So I spat it out........ 5 times.
In the end Mummy grabbed my mouth, chucked it down the back of my throat and held my face shut. I always knew that was how it was going to play out! But its fun watching her think she's won a few time, then seeing her scrabbling round the floor for the bits of spat-out tablet ! Hee hee, you have to get your fun where you can these days !
Next I decided to go and get some fuss from AS. I put my 'ouch AS look what they did to me' face on. That worked, as I knew it would. Lots of fuss and cuddles and 'aaah poor little man'. And sausages, plenty of sausages !
As soon as got home again, Mummy took the bandage off and said "That's quite enough pathetic-ness from you matey". Well that sympathy was a bit short lived eh. I'm sure I got away with it much longer when I had my bladder stones operation.
I got my own back anyway, by sleeping on the end of the bed and shuffling about every 30 minutes (pretending I couldn't get comfortable with my poorly arm and lip), so Mummy had a crap night's sleep ! Ha, revenge.
I feel ok now, but Mummy is continuing to give me all the horrid medication and tablets and things. At least I can also nip next door for a bit of proper sympathy.