I've decided that its about time that I told my side of the story, from my humble beginnings to present day. Its 11 years of roller coaster highs and lows, emotional and full of love.
Stay tuned . . . .
My name is Jack. I am 12 (nearly 13) years old and live in Bristol with my Mummy and my Daddy. I share myself with Aunty Sarah & Uncle David who live next door. They spoil me more than Mummy, and NEVER bath me. So if you need to find me, try their house first.
Saturday, 7 August 2010
Welkom !
That was specifically for my Dutch readers ! Oh yeah, the Word of Dog is spreading around the globe !
I would also like to say a huge "Hello" to my new readers in Guernsey and Cardiff too.
Well, I'm happy to report that the stupid Siamese cat has kept its distance all week. I should think so too, cheeky thing. I only invite people/things I like, and I do not like cats !
One of the ruddy things was screeching outside this really early this morning. I woofed in a 'big dog' voice (which isn't easy to do if you're my size !), and Mummy shouted "Shut up" from upstairs. One of us seemed to scare the noisy thing away, and I'm going to claim it !
I think Mummy is threatening to bath me again. She keeps sniffing my face ! I don't even like other dogs sniffing my butt, so I can't say I'm best pleased about any bit of me being sniffed by a human.
It's raining today though, so I may get away with it (or without it, as the case may be) for a few more days. Plus I doubt Mummy will want to bath me anywhere near her precious 'new' bathroom, so it will have to wait until it stops raining and I can have another al fresco bath. I hate bathing. I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before ? But I reeeeeally hate bathing. Just don't get what humans see in it.
With any luck I might get some decent grub at AS& UD's tonight, not that 'Veterinary special diet' muck that Mummy feeds me. Proper dog food, you know, steak, beef, mince, burgers, chicken, sausages, meaty bones, white fish, chocolate, biscuits, chocolate biscuits, ice-cream, rice pudding, yoghurt. Proper dog food !
I would also like to say a huge "Hello" to my new readers in Guernsey and Cardiff too.
Well, I'm happy to report that the stupid Siamese cat has kept its distance all week. I should think so too, cheeky thing. I only invite people/things I like, and I do not like cats !
One of the ruddy things was screeching outside this really early this morning. I woofed in a 'big dog' voice (which isn't easy to do if you're my size !), and Mummy shouted "Shut up" from upstairs. One of us seemed to scare the noisy thing away, and I'm going to claim it !
I think Mummy is threatening to bath me again. She keeps sniffing my face ! I don't even like other dogs sniffing my butt, so I can't say I'm best pleased about any bit of me being sniffed by a human.
It's raining today though, so I may get away with it (or without it, as the case may be) for a few more days. Plus I doubt Mummy will want to bath me anywhere near her precious 'new' bathroom, so it will have to wait until it stops raining and I can have another al fresco bath. I hate bathing. I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before ? But I reeeeeally hate bathing. Just don't get what humans see in it.
With any luck I might get some decent grub at AS& UD's tonight, not that 'Veterinary special diet' muck that Mummy feeds me. Proper dog food, you know, steak, beef, mince, burgers, chicken, sausages, meaty bones, white fish, chocolate, biscuits, chocolate biscuits, ice-cream, rice pudding, yoghurt. Proper dog food !
Sunday, 1 August 2010
Cats are evil . .
Firstly, welcome to my Teddington, Wokingham and London readers !
Bit of an uneventful week. But on the upside - no baths this week ! Phew.
I was very well behaved on Monday morning. As we left our house, one of the Wicked Witch's 2 Siamese things was sat on the wall, and I walked straight past it. Not even a 2nd glance at the nasty, evil, sneaky looking thing. Now I'm not a fan of any type of cat (except for Tigers, which are Mummy's favourite cats. I think their full name is "Leicester Tigers Rugby Football Club"), I mean, one cat is pretty much like anyother to me. Except for those Siamese ones. Bleeeeuuurrrgggggh ! Hateful.
Anyway, walked straight past it. Mummy said I was a Very Good Boy, and gave my backside a scratch. See, sometimes its worth being good.
Well, that all went out the window on Saturday morning. Mummy opened the front door to take me for my 'patrol round the local boundaries', and right outside my front door, there it was. Ruddy cheek ! Blatant crossing the line ! I was nice to it (or it might have been its twin, who knows) earlier in the week, and this is how it repays me. Well, no more Mr Nice Dog. I launched at it, and gave out one of my very best "hoooooooooooooooooooowwwl', and it fled with its stupid thin tail between its legs. If Mummy hadn't had a tight hold of my (unnecessary in my opinion) collar and lead (or 'restrictive head brace' )it could well have been breakfast ! Next time Siamesey-cat, next time.
'The plumber' seems to have finished whatever it is that they were doing in the bathroom. Mummy seemed happy enough. She kept singing to me about 'lovely new tiles', and 'lovely new shower', and . . well you get the drift. Crazy lady. I couldn't get so excited about where I did my ablutions. Thereagain, I do mine wherever and whenever the whim takes me ! AS & UD's garden shed is a favourite 'de-watering hole',and as for washing myself . .. anywhere is good for me ! Why stand on ceremony, just get down to it when the mood takes.
AS & UD didn't seem to be answering the door to me yesterday evening. I popped round the back around 7pm (teatime!) and stared through the door for a bit. I even gave a really cute whimper, but nothing. Mummy came and told me 'Not today'. Meanies. Oh well, Mummy's gone to work today so I can have all day with them today instead. Yeah !
Its just as well AS & UD don't have any holiday booked, cos I miss them enough after a few hours. Just imagine what I'd be like if they went away for a few days !!! I can rest easy that that isn't going to happen any time soon . . . .
Bit of an uneventful week. But on the upside - no baths this week ! Phew.
I was very well behaved on Monday morning. As we left our house, one of the Wicked Witch's 2 Siamese things was sat on the wall, and I walked straight past it. Not even a 2nd glance at the nasty, evil, sneaky looking thing. Now I'm not a fan of any type of cat (except for Tigers, which are Mummy's favourite cats. I think their full name is "Leicester Tigers Rugby Football Club"), I mean, one cat is pretty much like anyother to me. Except for those Siamese ones. Bleeeeuuurrrgggggh ! Hateful.
Anyway, walked straight past it. Mummy said I was a Very Good Boy, and gave my backside a scratch. See, sometimes its worth being good.
Well, that all went out the window on Saturday morning. Mummy opened the front door to take me for my 'patrol round the local boundaries', and right outside my front door, there it was. Ruddy cheek ! Blatant crossing the line ! I was nice to it (or it might have been its twin, who knows) earlier in the week, and this is how it repays me. Well, no more Mr Nice Dog. I launched at it, and gave out one of my very best "hoooooooooooooooooooowwwl', and it fled with its stupid thin tail between its legs. If Mummy hadn't had a tight hold of my (unnecessary in my opinion) collar and lead (or 'restrictive head brace' )it could well have been breakfast ! Next time Siamesey-cat, next time.
'The plumber' seems to have finished whatever it is that they were doing in the bathroom. Mummy seemed happy enough. She kept singing to me about 'lovely new tiles', and 'lovely new shower', and . . well you get the drift. Crazy lady. I couldn't get so excited about where I did my ablutions. Thereagain, I do mine wherever and whenever the whim takes me ! AS & UD's garden shed is a favourite 'de-watering hole',and as for washing myself . .. anywhere is good for me ! Why stand on ceremony, just get down to it when the mood takes.
AS & UD didn't seem to be answering the door to me yesterday evening. I popped round the back around 7pm (teatime!) and stared through the door for a bit. I even gave a really cute whimper, but nothing. Mummy came and told me 'Not today'. Meanies. Oh well, Mummy's gone to work today so I can have all day with them today instead. Yeah !
Its just as well AS & UD don't have any holiday booked, cos I miss them enough after a few hours. Just imagine what I'd be like if they went away for a few days !!! I can rest easy that that isn't going to happen any time soon . . . .
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